Assume They Don’t Know Yet

A recent new client arrived for their behavioral analysis walking their dog on a flexi leash. Ahead of time, they’d shared that walks were how they socialized, both for themselves and their dog and often let their dog greet other dogs on leash. They even asked if I’d be willing to socialize my dog with theirs.

From a training standpoint, that’s not something I’m going to take a chance on. Letting unfamiliar dogs meet on the street, when I don’t know the dog or the handler, generally isn’t good practice or good etiquette. But that wasn’t the place to lead.

What mattered more was why they were asking.

We get dogs for companionship and connection. For many people, dogs are how they meet others, how they feel comfortable being social, how they step outside their own bubble. The dog isn’t just the companion, it’s the bridge.

The dog world is full of fast judgments. Flexi leashes are bad. (For what it’s worth, I do use flexi leashes occasionally, intentionally and in the right context.) On-leash greetings are a hard no. “Experienced” owners should know better. The issue isn’t that unspoken rules exist. It’s that many experienced handlers forget they once didn’t know them either. What feels obvious now was learned over time.

And what really IS experience? Experience without clarity isn’t expertise. I’ve worked with plenty of people who’ve been “doing training” for years, but if the training isn’t effective, repeating it longer doesn’t make it better. It just reinforces the same gaps.

When someone shows up doing something imperfectly, I don’t assume they should know better. I assume they don’t know yet.

People don’t know what they don’t know. My job isn’t to pile on judgment in the moment - afterall they came to me for a reason. It’s to listen first, understand the intent, and then guide toward something clearer, safer, and more effective for both ends of the leash.

If we want better dogs, we need better handlers. And if we want better handlers, we need fewer critics and more mentors willing to meet people where they actually are.