Getting Out of Our Own Way: Ego, Learning, and Dogs

In dog training, ego doesn’t usually show up the way people expect.

Most of the clients who reach out to me are already past the hardest part. They’ve recognized, often with a mix of humility and relief, I need help too. Not just the dog. That acknowledgment alone clears a lot of brush from the path forward.

When that’s the case, my job is straightforward. We learn together, the dog gets clarity, and progress tends to come quickly.

Every so often, though, ego does make an appearance. Sometimes it sounds like confidence. Sometimes it sounds like defensiveness. Sometimes it’s just discomfort with not being the most informed person in the room.

That’s okay too.

Ego isn’t a character flaw. It’s a protective reflex. It steps in when we feel exposed, uncertain, or worried about being judged. Especially when the thing we’re talking about is something we care deeply about.

The problem isn’t that ego exists. The problem is when it stays in charge.

Dogs are exquisitely honest learners. They don’t care what we meant to teach them, what we’ve read, or how long we’ve owned dogs before. They respond to what’s actually happening in front of them. Clear information helps them. Confusing information doesn’t.

The same is true for us.

The sooner we can loosen our grip on what we think we know, the faster learning can begin. The moment we stop needing to prove ourselves, defend our choices, or measure ourselves against someone else’s expertise, we create room for real understanding.

This isn’t about being wrong. It’s about being available.

When someone knows more than you in a particular area, it doesn’t diminish you. It simply means you’re in the presence of information you didn’t have yet. That’s not a loss. That’s a shortcut.

In training, that shortcut matters. Because every week spent protecting our ego is a week the dog spends navigating confusion. And dogs don’t benefit from our pride, our guilt, or our hesitation. They benefit from clarity, consistency, and timely guidance.

The clients who progress the fastest aren’t the ones who come in knowing the most. They’re the ones willing to say, “I’m open. Show me.”

When we get out of our own way, dogs don’t just improve faster. We do too.

And that’s usually when training starts to feel less like fixing something and more like learning how to listen.

*I am not positioning myself above this sentiment. Dogs are not at all the same. Different motivators, different aversions, some faster, some slower, some using atypical methods. Not committing myself to one method, means I can pivot when and as quickly as needed.

**I saw a reel the other day that said the most difficult breed to train? The human.